


And It's You

by MauveCat



Series: A Year in the Life [8]
Category: Endless Summer (Visual Novel)
Genre: Family Feels, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:01:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26815537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MauveCat/pseuds/MauveCat
Summary: Saying goodbye is never easy....
Relationships: Diego Soto/Varyyn (Endless Summer), Estela Montoya/Main Character (Endless Summer)
Series: A Year in the Life [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1885183
Comments: 6
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

**MAY**

Rapping softly on the door, Taylor peeked inside. “Okay if I come in?”

Diego’s face lit up. “Taylor! I didn’t think you’d be here so early. Sure, come on in.” He and Mauri were sitting on heaps of brightly colored pillows piled on the floor, and Diego’s laptop was propped on a stack of books, playing a movie. “Where’s Estela?”

Coming all the way into the room, Taylor said, “She’s down in the square – we ran into Paravet and Xiraana down there on our way to the Great Tree. Paravet is helping someone mend a fishing net, and Xiraana was playing some kind of game with rocks. Estela’s trying to learn the rules.” Taylor grinned at the memory of the Vaanti toddler imperiously handing Estela a handful of stones, and her wife trying to make sense of the game.

“I hope Estela is a quick learner – the little bird takes toss-stone very seriously.” Mauri frowned at the laptop. “Why did he throw away his canteen?” he asked in confusion. “If he is lost in a desert, he will need it.”

“Because it’s empty,” Diego answered patiently, “and he doesn’t think he’ll find water anywhere.”

“He will certainly never find water with _that_ attitude.” Looking up, Mauri met Taylor’s eyes and shook his head in dismay. “I am surprised that humans manage to live to adulthood with such poor survival skills.”

Grinning, Diego leaned forward and paused the movie. “Most of us do a little better in real life. In movies, they exaggerate things to increase the suspense.”

“Well, they should learn to exaggerate without doing foolish things.” Standing up, Mauri ruffled Diego’s hair before walking over to grasp Taylor’s arm in greeting. “It is good to see you, Taylor. Diego said that you and Estela are going to the Elysian Lodge tomorrow. I would be happy to show you the best path through the mountains.”

“That’s... really thoughtful of you, but we were actually going to save some time and take the boat along the coast, and then walk up to the lodge. Varyyn says the hunters have cleared a path from the coast so we shouldn’t have any trouble finding it.”

“I hope you are right. Remember what I said about survival skills,” Mauri said teasingly. Over his shoulder, he said to Diego, “I will leave now – I have to speak with Seraxa, and I promised Xiraana that I would take her swimming this afternoon.”

“Well, you better not keep her waiting.” Diego stretched as he stood up. “Do you want to finish the movie later?”

“Only if I can continue pointing out how foolish the hero is,” Mauri replied on his way out the door.

Shaking her head, Taylor plopped down on the pile of cushions. “I should have guessed that Mauri is the kind of guy who talks through movies. Doesn’t that annoy you?”

“I know that a film critic should say yes, but it’s really interesting to watch movies with someone who’s seeing them for the first time. Paravet doesn’t see the point of movies at all – most of the Vaanti don’t – and Varyyn only really likes a few, but Mauri will watch anything. Some of his insights have actually given me new angles to explore. Do you want something to drink?”

“Sure.” When Diego disappeared into the kitchen, Taylor looked around the room. It was a calm, tranquil space, full of soft light from the sunbeams filtering through the leafy branches outside. She pressed her hand against the living wood of the floor, and it was smooth and warm against her skin. There was a table in the corner that Diego used as a desk; it was piled high with books, and DVD cases and papers were scattered haphazardly on its surface. Two battered action figures stood side by side on a small wall shelf above the table. Next to the door, an immense shield was hanging on the wall. It was well over six feet tall and its edges were tattered and torn. There even seemed to be a few scorch marks on it. Taylor squinted; a silver chain with a small disk was pinned to the center of the shield.

Before she could stand up to get a closer look at the shield, Diego came out of the kitchen, holding two cups. “Here you go. I know you’ve had kooma a few times – this is made from the juice, along with a few other ingredients.”

“I’ll give it a shot.” Taylor pointed at the shield. “That thing is _huge_. Is there a story behind it?”

“Definitely.” Nodding, Diego handed her a cup as he sat down beside her. “It belonged to Varyyn’s grandfather, Haoshyyl. He was the war chief who led Elyys’tel to victory in the Three Tribes’ War. After they won a bunch of battles, he ordered all the opposing chieftains to meet with him and he told them that they could keep fighting and watch more of their children die and then lose anyway, or they could agree to the peace treaty and go home.” He grinned. “They agreed to the treaty and went home that day. Apparently, Haoshyyl was quite the motivational speaker. And when the elyyshar at the time died without naming an heir, he was basically voted into the position. Varyyn said he keeps that shield as a reminder that power should only be used for protection.”

“I like that.” Taylor took a drink. “This is pretty good. It’s kind of like…?” She frowned, trying to figure out what the thick red juice reminded her of.

Diego tapped his cup against hers. “Hawaiian Punch, only without the corn syrup? Yep. It helps with my junk food cravings.”

“Any port in a storm, I guess.” Taylor took another sip. Looking over at Diego, she poked his knee playfully. “I’ve been meaning to ask you – considering how long you’ve been living here, why don’t I ever see you dressed like a Vaanti?”

“Because I’d look like a kid playing dress-up,” he replied immediately. “I’m not likely to blend into the crowd around here, you know, so I might as well wear what I’m comfortable in. And besides....”

Taylor waited; when Diego didn’t go on, she nudged his shoulder. “Oh, no you don’t. You’re not going to say ‘besides’ and turn red and then leave me hanging!”

“Weellll....” Diego’s blush deepened. With a slight smile, he said, “Without going into detail, let’s just say that Varyyn... kinda likes getting me out of these clothes.” His smile widened at Taylor’s delighted laughter. “Hey, it’s only fair. He lets me play with his hair, I let him undress me. Indulging one another is the key to a happy marriage.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Taylor felt her smile slip a little. This was probably the best time to ask the question that had been nagging at her for the past few days. “You know, you usually answer my calls, but for the past few days you’ve just been texting back instead of answering your phone. And Estela and I met Varyyn on the beach when we docked our boat. He said something about your parents and I don’t think he’s happy with them – what’s wrong?”

“Oh, the usual.” Diego didn’t look at her. “A few days ago, Mom called to tell me about the latest family wedding, and she went into the traditional complaints about how embarrassing it was that I didn’t show up – I wasn’t invited because everyone knows I don’t live in the States and with thirty-eight first cousins plus _their_ kids, and that’s not even counting second and third cousins... well, I can’t possibly fly back and forth all the time. But I suppose that’s irrelevant. At any rate, Mom kept telling me how left out she feels because I’m never getting married. Sooooo… I told her that it wasn’t like she’d ever want to meet my husband anyway.” He finally gave Taylor a dry, humorless smile. “Things kind of went downhill from there, and I seem to be disowned again. Dad called later and he said that maybe he could smooth things over, but only if I apologized to Mom and told her how sorry I am, and I shouldn’t joke about being married considering Mom’s feelings about that, and – well, the usual. But… this time, I really think I’m done. I can’t keep letting Mom blame me for... well, for everything, and I can’t keep letting Dad make me feel like it’s my responsibility to keep the peace. I think this is it.”

Taylor looked closely at her friend; his eyes were shadowed, as if he hadn’t slept much. She put her cup on the ground as she scooted a little closer to him. “How are you feeling?”

Diego shrugged. “I’ve been through this before, remember? I’m....” He trailed off. He looked at the cup in his hand before carefully setting it aside. “I’m... not doing so well. My relationship with my folks was never good but it was always... _there_ , if you know what I mean?” She didn’t know, but Taylor nodded anyway. Diego picked up one of the pillows and held it loosely. “After that vision Vaanu showed us – you know, the one of my dad calling me? – I always had hope that we could finally work things out. Well, I... can’t keep fooling myself. They just can’t give me anything to work with. And now that I’m giving up on ever being close to them, there’s sort of a weird empty hole where everything used to be.”

“Diego, I –” Taylor’s breath caught as a vision washed over her.

_(Diego stood outside his bedroom and listened. Dad was in the living room, watching the Dodgers and reading the paper. And further down the hallway, he heard Mom and Abuelita talking in the kitchen… after a moment’s hesitation, he crept closer to the kitchen door, being careful to avoid the creaky parts of the floor. Even if he couldn’t grab a snack, he could listen for a little while. Maybe that way he could figure out why Mom was so upset at supper – she’d been angry for the past few months, ever since she went away for a week and came back thin and pale and silent, but she’d been so much worse that evening…._

_“Connie and Jack already have four kids. Emma isn’t even two years old – how can she be pregnant again?”_

_Diego could almost see Abuelita’s philosophical shrug. “Consuelo takes after me – she can get pregnant from her husband winking at her. It’s just the way she is.”_

_Mom turned on the faucet. Over the running water, he heard her say, “How can it be so easy for her? It’s not fair!”_

_“Anunciación –”_

_“Nancy,” his mother replied automatically. “I’ve been asking you to call me that since I was five.” The water went off and he heard a chair scraping against the linoleum as Mom sat down. If it was her usual chair, she wouldn’t be able to see the doorway… stepping as quietly as possible, Diego edged a little closer._

_“Your father and I named you_ _Anunciación,” Abuelita answered firmly, “and that is what I’m going to call you. Consuelo didn’t get pregnant because she wanted to hurt you! I understand how much you’re hurting. I was blessed eight times but I’ve never forgotten that there’s a little angel waiting for me in heaven, just like your three little angels are waiting for you in the arms of Our Lady. We’re given the children God wants us to have.”_

_“And God thinks I only deserve one child?”_

_“That isn’t what I said.” Abuelita was beginning to sound angry. “Some of us can have babies like –” Diego heard her snap her fingers. “And some of us struggle in pain and heartache. You didn’t do anything wrong, mija, and Consuelo didn’t do anything right. And Diego certainly didn’t do anything wrong!”_

_…Why were they talking about him? Diego held his breath and peeked around the doorframe. Abuelita was out of view and just as he expected, Mom was positioned so she could look out the kitchen window. She was holding a shopping list in her hands, tearing it into tiny shreds. Very softly, she said, “The doctors told me I shouldn’t try again after him. It hurt so bad, Mom.”_

_Abuelita spoke just as softly, her voice as gentle as when she told Diego to ignore the other kids, that some people were just mean. “Sometimes babies have to fight to come into the world. It’s not their fault, and it’s not the mama’s fault. It just is.”_

_Mom didn’t act like she was listening. “But Victor and I have been trying for the past eight years. Now I can’t ever try again. The doctors took that away from me.”_

_“You still have a child, mija. Diego’s a good boy – he’s kind and he’s smart –”_

_Mom dumped the paper fragments on the table and began scraping them into a pile. “Janet – you know, from that blue house down the street with the roses and the dog that never stops barking? She talked to me in the store yesterday. She asked if I’d noticed the way Diego looks at other boys. Right in the middle of Safeway, where anyone could have heard her.”_

_“Diego is nine years old. How could he be looking at anyone?” Again, Diego could easily imagine Abuelita’s shrug. “And even if he is… well, my sister Florita lived with her special friend for forty years. If Diego is looking at boys, that’s how God made him.”_

_“Great. One more reason for me to be pissed at God.” Without warning, Mom shoved her chair back and stood. Diego ducked back into the hallway, but not before his mother saw him. Not before he saw the stricken, bitter expression in her eyes. Not before he understood, in some way that he couldn’t explain and that his mother would never admit – if she even understood it herself – that she was glad he finally knew how she felt about her only child, the one who was never going to be good enough._

_And as much as it hurt, the pain was his fault anyway. He should have walked away sooner.)_

Taylor took a deep breath, trembling as the vision passed. “Oh, God, Diego… I’m so sorry.”

Diego sighed heavily. “It’s been building up for a long time. I kept hoping that maybe there was some way to have a relationship with my folks, but I can’t go through this anymore. Varyyn told me a while back that one of my problems is that I can’t just admit it when I’m sad. Well, I’ve been... feeling sad. Varyyn and Paravet and Mauri have been kind of tag-teaming to keep me company and it’s... weird. I’m not used to being the one people fuss over. Anyway, that’s where things stand. Let’s talk about something else besides my tale of woe, okay? I spy... with my little eye....” Diego gave Taylor a sidelong look. “A big damn elephant in the room. I could tell from your message yesterday that there’s something on your mind. You came here to tell me something, didn’t you?”

Taylor closed her eyes and nodded. She’d planned on easing into giving Diego the news, but she should have known that wouldn’t work with him. Opening her eyes again, she looked at her best friend. “I think... no. I’ve decided that I’m ready to leave La Huerta.”

“...For good.”

“No! Not for good, not _forever_ – it isn’t like we’re never coming back! I know that Varyyn is worried because we don’t know where Lundgren is, but there’s no reason to believe he’s in San Trobida. Estela and I are looking at houses there so we’ll only be a few hours away by plane. And we’ve been talking about buying a boat. Nothing as big and fancy as Aleister’s, but it’ll let us come and go as we please without waiting for Jake to ferry us back and forth.” She sighed. “I’m not going to win any awards for timing, am I?”

Unbelievably, Diego laughed. “If you were waiting for some mythical day when my parents decide to take it easy on me, you’d never leave. And it’s not exactly a complete surprise. I’ve been thinking that this would happen any time now.”

“You have?”

“Honestly, yeah.” Diego smiled, just a little. “I remember how scared you were the first time you left La Huerta to visit Estela’s uncle but when we went to London a month later, you were completely different – remember how you said you wanted to try flying in and out of an airport without IRIS running interference? And then when you went to Boston, you were even more excited about that trip. You had a list of everything you wanted to see, all the things you wanted to do....” Reaching out, he took her hand. “So yeah, I’ve been expecting this. You’re ready.”

Taylor gripped his hand tightly. “Diego, how did you decide that you wanted to stay on La Huerta? I mean....” She took a deep breath. “When Varyyn pulled you away from me, I was terrified. Then when we stepped out of the time bubble and realized that you’d been with the Vaanti for six months, I – I didn’t know what they’d done to you. I didn’t even know if you were still alive! How did you ever feel safe here?”

Diego was quiet for a few moments, lost in thought. “It... wasn’t quick. It sure wasn’t easy. Even when I figured out that they weren’t going to kill me right away, it was always... kind of in the background, you know? At first I was basically the center of a tug-of-war between Seraxa and Uqzhaal. She thought it was too dangerous to keep me around, and he couldn’t wait to learn enough English so he could pick a Catalyst’s brain about the Endless. It didn’t take too long, though, before I figured out that he was a lot more dangerous to me than she was. It wasn’t personal for Seraxa – it was just her job to keep the Vaanti safe. But Uqzhaal... he wanted to wave me around to prove that he’d been right all along and everybody needed to listen to him. I don’t think he ever thought of me as a person and I figured that once he found out what he wanted, he wouldn’t care what happened to me. And as for everything else, that just kind of happened, day by day.” He shrugged. “It was Varyyn’s job to keep an eye on me and he asked Mauri and Paravet to help him, so I spent a ton of time with them. Eventually, people got used to seeing me around. It sure didn’t hurt that I’m so much smaller than most of them – it was kind of tough to see _this_ as a threat.” He gestured at his slender frame. “And once I decided the simplest way to teach everyone English was retelling every story I could think of... well, it was probably hard to hate someone who’s acting out all the parts in _Finding Nemo_.”

Taylor laughed. “I’m kind of sorry I missed that.”

“Get a few drinks in me tonight, and you still might get your chance. The kids especially enjoyed the stories. I’ve always been good with kids and that’s important to the Vaanti, so that was a big point in my favor. And honestly, when we fought the Vaanti and I whacked Varyyn with a chair? That sort of worked in my favor too. They respect people who’ll go against a larger opponent, and that’s one of the reasons they respected you, too. Anyway, by the time you guys came back, things had almost started to feel – okay, not _normal_. But I wasn’t afraid all the time. That was mostly because of Varyyn.” Diego smiled, and his eyes grew soft. “We’ve both tried to pinpoint just when we fell in love – you know, which one of us was the bigger sap – but it didn’t take long for either of us. I hadn’t done a lot of dating back in the real world because, you know, _reasons_ , and the guys I did go with were, generally speaking... not great. If I ignored the whole enemy thing, Varyyn was so far beyond great that I figured at first that I had to be missing some huge red flag. I wasn’t. And even when we both thought it was impossible for us to ever be together, I knew I’d love him until my dying day.”

Quietly, Taylor said, “So when everything... ended, you had to decide what world you were going to live in?”

“Yeah, basically.” Diego shrugged. “But _that_ was easy, believe it or not. It wasn’t even a decision at all. It was something I knew I had to do. When we got off the island, we all went through a ton of medical tests and debriefings – I still can’t believe we all managed to sell the same story, and even Craig stayed on script – before they let us go our separate ways. My parents were waiting for me at the hospital and they took me back to California and they were so relieved that I was back... I mean, even with everything that happened between us, it’s not like they ever wanted me dead.”

He stared into space and let out a long, slow breath. “But after a week in Riverside, I was in my bedroom for the first time since I was a teenager, staring at the ceiling and trying to figure out what to do next, and I realized that every single plan I was making centered around getting back here as soon as possible. Finishing my degree? I was looking into accelerated programs or even abandoning it altogether. Getting a job? Freelance work that I could do from anywhere. And my parents... they really didn’t know what to do with me. I think deep down, they were hoping that whatever I went through would scare me straight – literally – and I’d tell them that they’d been right all along and I was going to marry the first nice Catholic girl I met and we’d give them a bunch of grandchildren. And I... well, I wasn’t bothering to argue with them anymore. It took me a few months to gather together everything that I needed to come back here, and in the meantime I was working for a local LGBTQ group. I was helping kids who’d been thrown out by their families find housing, actually. Mom was so _angry_ and I think she wanted to kick me out again, but Dad wouldn’t let her. And then one day they realized that I was getting ready to leave and that I didn’t intend to tell them where I was going.” He shook his head sadly. “They didn’t ask me to stay. Not once. Maybe they wanted to, but they probably didn’t know how to do that and still believe they were right.”

“What if they _had_ asked you to stay?” Taylor asked quietly. “Would you have changed your plans?”

“Not a chance.” He smiled to himself. “I’d have gone back to visit a lot more often, though. Anyway. By the time I was ready to leave, Jake had his legal problems sorted out and he could fly me down here, and for the entire flight, I was a wreck. Even by _my_ standards, I was a wreck. I kept saying that I should have found a way to let Varyyn know I was coming back, just in case he was having second thoughts about marrying me –” Taylor snorted, and Diego laughed in response. “Yeah, Jake made that same exact noise all the way to La Huerta. He had me sit next to him in the pilot’s cabin the whole trip because he didn’t want me grabbing a parachute and making a break for it. What can I say? Anxiety is a hell of a drug. But when Varyyn came out of the jungle and he saw me... three seconds later he was holding me and crying, and all I could think was, _so this is what coming home is supposed to feel like._ Even when I was a kid, I’d never felt that safe and that secure anywhere. For the first time in my life – and I mean that literally, I was the twitchiest kindergartener you ever saw – I wasn’t worried about anything at all. So... yeah.” He rubbed his eyes. “This is home for me, and it always will be. Now you and Estela need to figure out where _your_ home is. Whether it’s here or San Trobida, or somewhere else altogether, that’s up to the two of you. You can’t figure it out if you never leave.”

“I suppose so.” Taylor looked over at him. “But I’m still sorry that I told you about it now, right after you lost your family.”

Diego leaned against her shoulder. “Yeah, that’s going to hurt for a while. Probably forever. But I’ve still got you and the other Catalysts, and I’ve got everyone out there.” He nodded toward the window. “So even if I lost one family, I still have two that I know I can count on. I’m still coming out ahead.”

Sighing, Taylor rested her head against his. “My little philosopher.”

“Just another service I provide. Maybe that’s why Vaanu picked me to be your best friend.”

“Uh-uh.” Taylor shook her head decisively. “Vaanu didn’t choose you, I did.”

Diego pulled away a little, puzzled. “You what?”

“Well... yeah.” Taylor frowned, trying to find a way to explain. “Vaanu only put me on the plane. At first I just sort of materialized at the back but after a few cycles, I was the one who decided where I appeared. And almost from the beginning, that was next to you.” She smiled a little. “I can’t really put it into words, but... I knew you were Diego before I knew I was Taylor.”

“You... _chose_ me?” Diego stared at her, clearly stunned. “On purpose?”

“Yes, you doofus, on purpose. We’ve got to work on your self-esteem, pal.”

Diego shook his head, an astonished expression still on his face. “I’ll add it to the list,” he said.

“Yeah, get on that. In the meantime, let’s go downstairs.” Taylor stood and extended a hand to Diego. Pulling him to his feet, she went on, “I think we should probably help Estela with that rock game Xiraana was playing. The kid had a definite cut-throat expression on her face.”

As they left the room, Diego said, “Toss-stone is serious business around here, at least among the younger kids. And it’s safer than quuk'tanoi. It’s definitely drier.”

“Good point.” Taylor glanced at the shield on their way out, and she smiled. A Saint Christopher medal on top of a Vaanti war shield, symbols of protection from two cultures joined together. Diego was right. He did belong on Elyys’tel.


	2. Chapter 2

“I probably should have asked this question before, but how likely is it that we’ll run into a sabertooth or some other vicious beastie?” Taylor asked as she and Estela walked along the pathway leading to the Elysian Lodge.

Estela glanced around. “Sabertooths? We probably won’t see any around here – both of the packs have territories a lot further south, on either side of Mount Atropo. Once in a while one might venture north, but probably not this far. The only other potentially dangerous animals I’ve heard of around here are some wild boars, but… well, I’m not entirely sure about how much territory they cover.”

“So it’s not impossible that we could come across one. That’s super. What should we do if one shows up?”

“Run.” Grinning, Estela said, “Why do you think I always nag you to go jogging with me? The tusks on those things are enormous.”

“Very funny.” But Taylor quickened her pace a little. Just as Varyyn had promised, the steep path from the northern shoreline was clearly marked and, to a Vaanti, it would have been an easy walk. But neither she nor Estela were Vaanti, and even her athletic wife was starting to sound a little winded. After a few more minutes of brisk walking, she stopped by a fallen tree. “Okay, vicious wild pigs or not, I need a break,” she said as she took a seat, dropping her pack to the ground beside her.

“It’s only about two more miles… but I won’t say no.” Estela sank down next to Taylor; taking out her water bottle, she drank deeply before passing it over. Staring first at the mountain peaks rising above, and then at the lush greenery surrounding them, she murmured, “It’s so strange, not seeing any snow up here. Once in a while, the Vaanti say that they’ve seen some way up in the mountains, but that’s not unheard of, even in the Caribbean.”

“I suppose that’s true. How long did it take before the climate went back to normal?” Taylor asked as she handed the bottle back.

“It was only a few months before the undergrowth had returned, they tell me.” Estela patted the log they were sitting on. “A lot of the taller trees fell down those first two years – I suppose the sudden change in climate was too much of a shock. On the other hand, the local weavers were thrilled when they realized that the mirralt groves are spreading north. It’ll be at least ten years before they’ll be able to cut down any of the new trees to scrape out the fibers, but they’re already pretty excited.”

“I bet.” Taylor closed her eyes as she lifted her face to a light breeze. Even though the northern region of La Huerta was no longer covered by ice and snow, it was noticeably cooler than either Elyys’tel or the beach house. “Have you guys spent a lot of time up here?”

“…Not really. Some of the others go hiking up here during our reunions, but this is only my second time back since you….” Estela’s voice faded away.

After a few moments, Taylor took her hand. “I’m sorry, Estela. I didn’t mean –”

“I know you didn’t.” Squeezing Taylor’s hand gently, Estela looked up at the sky. “But between losing you, and knowing that Mama was killed at the lodge, I just couldn’t imagine myself having a good time there. Whenever the rest of the Catalysts went up this way, I’d stick around the beach house. Aleister and Grace always stayed down there with me–Aleister said it was because if he decided to go walking just for the sake of it, he’d stick to level areas like a sensible person should. Grace would just laugh and call him her crotchety old man and say she’d better stay at the house too, in case he wanted some warm milk. But we all knew they stayed to keep me company. Then two years ago Grace was pregnant with Reggie and Michelle absolutely refused to let her go hiking anywhere, and the year after that… we were just starting to figure out how to bring you home.”

“And then everything changed.”

“Yes.” Estela looked at Taylor, and her eyes glowed with happiness. “Everything.” Sliding her hand around the back of Taylor’s head, she leaned in for a long, deep kiss. When they separated, Estela pressed her forehead against Taylor’s and whispered. “And if you’re with me, _mi amor,_ I think I’m ready to go back.”

* * *

Finally, after another long steep climb, the Elysian Lodge finally came into view. Not caring whether or not she was whining, Taylor dumped her backpack on the ground and said, “Oh, thank _God_. Five more minutes of hiking would have killed me.”

“I doubt that.” In spite of her words, Estela seemed just as glad to come to a stop. “Now, _ten_ minutes….” Putting her hands on the small of her back, she groaned. “I thought I was in shape.”

“You have a very nice shape,” Taylor said as she sat down on the ground. “At least the trip back down will be easier. And how’s this for a plan: let's stay right here for an hour or two until my leg muscles stop twitching.”

Estela laughed. “Tempting, very tempting. But come on – we just have to throw two switches to start the solar panels and water pumps, and we can relax inside.” She extended a hand. “Come on, Taylor. Just a little bit further. Once the water heats up, we can take a hot bath,” she coaxed.

“Fiiiiine. But there better be bubbles.”

Taylor let Estela lead her around the corner of the building. Opening the cover of a metal box on the wall, Estela flipped down two levers. She stood for a moment, listening intently; after a few seconds, she nodded as a barely perceptible hum filled the air. “There we go. It’s sunny today so we should have power before long.”

“Let me guess – it runs on the same system Grace designed for the beach house, right?” Taylor grinned as they shouldered their packs and made their way to the front door.

“That’s right. It doesn’t make much sense to always keep the power and water on if the place won’t be used for months at a time. It’s not like the pipes are in danger of freezing any more, right? The Vaanti use this as a hunting base, but that’s only for a fairly short part of the year as well.” Estela pushed the door open and peered inside. “It’s empty now, anyway, but keep an eye out. Sean said the last time they were here, he had to shoo a rabbit out.”

Taylor looked around eagerly. “Awww, I wouldn’t mind sharing our supper with a little bunny.”

“Neither would I. But since La Huerta rabbits are about the size of basset hounds, let’s try to keep them outside.”

“…Basset hounds?”

Estela grinned as she sat down on a couch near the door. “What do you think the Vaanti hunt around here? Or the sabertooths, for that matter?”

“I’ll remember that,” Taylor answered. Sinking down next to Estela, she leaned against the cushions with a deep sigh. “Oh, this feels good.”

“Mmm.” Taylor opened her eyes and looked at Estela; her wife was gazing at the stairs leading to the second floor. Realizing that Taylor was watching her, Estela took a deep breath and smiled. “There should be plenty of sheets and towels in the linen closets. Everything is lined in cedar and Quinn said that the last time she was here, she tossed an armload of lavender sachets around. And if the bedding still smells musty in spite of that, we can just hang everything off a balcony for a while to air out….” Her eyes went to the stairs again.

Reaching out, Taylor took her hand. “We don’t need to go up there if you’re not ready,” she said gently.

“I know.” Estela took a deep breath. “But… I’m not sure if it’ll be any easier if we wait.”

“I should have known you were a ‘rip the bandage off fast’ type,” Taylor murmured. “Do you want to do this now?”

Estela hesitated. “The lights aren’t on yet.” She stood up and squared her shoulders. “But… there are windows up there.” She looked over when Taylor stood up as well. “I’m never going to be any readier than I am now.”

The two women climbed the stairs in silence. Estela paused before turning resolutely down the hall; her hand was icy cold in Taylor’s, but her steps were steady. When they came to the room where Olivia Montoya had been killed, they came to a halt. Taylor stared at the elaborate markings covering the door. “These weren’t here before and they don’t look like human artwork… did the Vaanti carve these?”

Estela nodded as she stepped nearer the door. Her face was shadowed in the dim light coming from the windows at the end of the hallway. “I don’t know who it was, and I probably never will... it’s not the kind of thing they’d expect credit or thanks for. But whenever they can’t reclaim a warrior’s body, they go to the last place that warrior was seen and leave these markings to help the spirit find its way to a resting place.”

“You never told me that the Vaanti consider your mother a warrior.”

“When they found out that she died because she was trying to stop the Hydra... yes. And they wanted to show their thanks,” Estela answered heavily. She reached out; her fingertips hovered above the carvings, tracing them in the air without touching them. “Someone carved this in the first year after you disappeared. When he found out about it, Varyyn brought Diego and me up after our first reunion, and he explained the symbols. This... this is Mama.” Her hand circled around a humanoid figure standing straight and tall. “These jagged marks above her – they symbolize all of the pain and sadness departing her spirit, leaving behind only strength and peace.” Her free hand came up to scrub angrily at her eyes. Shakily, she pointed to the bottom of the carving, at a series of gracefully undulating curves reaching toward the figure. “The Vaanti believe that the spirits of their ancestors live in the waters surrounding La Huerta, protecting the island and everything on it from harm. Varyyn said that this means that the ocean spirits will welcome Mama if she decides to join them.” Estela’s voice finally broke.

“Oh, baby.” Wrapping her arms around Estela from behind, Taylor rested her head against her wife’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”

“I... I don’t believe any of that.” Estela’s words came out haltingly. “Mama raised me to be a rationalist, and believing in any kind of an afterlife isn’t... rational. Which I know is a stupid thing to say, considering how you came to me. There’s nothing rational about crystals and aliens and time loops and all of it. But....” She drew a deep, shuddering breath. “I suppose it’s – I don’t know why but it helps a little, knowing that people who never met Mama respect her, and they want her to be happy.” She put her hand on the doorknob but, after a long moment, she pulled away. “The last time I opened this door, I didn’t know that Mama died in here. But know that I _do_ know, I… don’t think I’m ready to go in there yet. Maybe… maybe next year?”

“Next year,” Taylor whispered. She stood on her toes to kiss the tears trailing from Estela’s eyes. “We’ll do it next year.” Putting an arm around Estela’s waist, she gently turned her around. Taylor looked up as they walked back down the hallway; a few lights were beginning to flicker on above them.

When they reached the staircase, they sat down together on the top step, still holding hands. Staring down, Estela said quietly, “I know that Mama wouldn’t let me come to her here because it wasn’t safe. She would have done anything to keep me away from Rourke… but I never got to say goodbye. I never got to tell her that as angry as I was at being left behind, I never stopped loving her.” She rubbed at her eyes again. “Mike told me that on his side of reality, my mother is still alive. Instead of fighting Rourke, she joined him. And instead of protecting me from him, she offered me up to him. Aleister and me both… the spawn of the Hydra,” she said bitterly. “Why? How could she be so different over there? Did you ever see –” Estela’s voice faltered. “I’m sorry. I know you don’t like talking about your visions.”

“I don’t, but I think it might help to talk it out.” Taylor sighed, staring at nothing. “Before I knew what I was, the visions I had were mostly of your pasts. I saw scenes from your pasts. I saw events that happened before you came to La Huerta, and... times when I lost all of you here on the island, over and over.” She leaned into Estela’s side. “After Vaanu started trying to contact me I began to see glimpses of your possible futures. But it was always either the past or the future, never the present. But now –” She shivered a little. “They’re nightmares, not visions. I get flashes of things that are happening right now over in Rourke’s timeline. I’ve tried to make sense of them but it’s impossible.”

Estela’s arm tightened around her shoulders. “How... how many of us are still with you?”

Taylor closed her eyes. “Not many. I’ve seen Raj and Michelle, mostly, and Zahra sometimes. And just recently, IRIS’s counterpart has been there too. But that’s it. None of the rest of you have appeared yet. I don’t think any of them will. I... I can’t be sure, but it’s likely that they’re dead over there.”

“Ahhh, _querida_....” Lifting Taylor’s hand to her lips, Estela tenderly kissed her palm.

“It’s so hard, Estela, knowing that I set all of that into motion. Mike told me once that I shouldn’t blame myself for believing Rourke, that he deceived an entire world. When I found out that I wasn’t human it was – God, I can’t even think of a word that covers how devastated I was. So when Rourke dangled the possibility of a real life in front of me, with a past and a family and all of it – just the possibility of a life with _you_ – I wanted that so bad!”

“But... you chose Vaanu instead,” Estela said gently.

After a long, painful pause, Taylor nodded. “I almost agreed to Rourke’s proposal but... at that very last moment, a tiny little voice started whispering, _it’s not real, you know that he’s never told the truth, you can’t trust him._ And so... I chose a path that would give all of you a chance to live your lives – without me, but at least they’d be real lives.” She laughed bitterly. “And at that last moment, I don’t think I ever considered the world outside La Huerta. I suppose... that other me didn’t either. I made my choice, and she made hers, and that fractured the timeline.”

“The Endless.” Estela didn’t realize she’d spoken aloud until Taylor lifted her head and looked at her, baffled. Struggling for words, she said, “I... think she was that little voice. When Vaanu brought you back, the Endless was there too, and she said that she’d originally offered you a third choice – we could all stay here on La Huerta, in a permanent time bubble. We’d all be safe but the outside world would keep burning.”

“I... don’t remember a third choice. I don’t remember the Endless being at the Celestial.”

“No. She said that....” Estela frowned. “She said that Rourke invaded her reality before he came to ours, and he destroyed it. She used the last of her strength to go back to the beginning of La Huerta one last time. She said that she never asked you to choose her path – instead, she left legends among the Vaanti to give them and us clues on how to bring you back. I think she planned on you returning to go against Rourke one last time.”

Taylor rubbed a hand over her eyes. “But Seraxa and IRIS took care of him instead,” she said with a shaky laugh.

Estela nodded and held Taylor a little closer. “They did. I think the Endless had been alone for so long that she couldn’t see herself – or you – as anything but a lone warrior. It probably never even occurred to her that you didn’t have to fight the battle yourself.”

“Maybe.” Taylor glanced at Estela. “But there’s still a Rourke in this world.”

“There is. He’s an emperor without an empire. He’s insane, and he’s under constant guard, but he’s still alive. As long as he lives, he’s going to be dangerous,” Estela said somberly. “And now that there’s a Lundgren in this world, too. Aleister and I both think it’s only a matter of time before Lundgren tries to contact our father. IRIS has been monitoring the security cameras at the prison constantly and looking everywhere she can think of... but she’s told us that she can’t guarantee that Lundgren won’t get through her net.”

“What will we do if he does?” Taylor asked.

“The same thing we did before. We’ll take care of our family, and we’ll stop him.” Estela stood, pulling Taylor up with her. “And I don’t know about you, but my butt’s getting numb. The lights are on and we should have hot water, too – how does that bath sound?”

“Pretty damn good.” As they went back down the stairs and went to where they’d dropped their packs, Taylor looked at Estela. “And while we’re up here... we could talk about family again.”

Estela paused in the act of picking up her backpack. “I... suppose we could. Have you thought about... what we discussed?”

Taylor sighed and began fiddling with the zipper on her backpack. “Yes, and you’re right. With my hormonal weirdness, we have no idea how my body will react to a pregnancy so if one of us is going to get pregnant, it probably has to be you. But I’m not sure if that’s fair.”

“Hey.” Putting her arms around Taylor, Estela held her close. “This isn’t like expecting me to take out the garbage every night. This is about growing our family. Wherever this journey takes us, _mi vida,_ we’re taking it together.”

“But....” Taylor spoke softly. “What if it... doesn’t happen? What if we try, and we try, and it just doesn’t work? Even normal pregnancies don’t always happen easily.”

Estela kissed Taylor’s forehead. “I know. I’ve been reading the same materials you have, remember? And no matter what – whether IVF works for us, or whether we adopt, or whether we spend the rest of our lives loving the hell out of Reggie and Xiraana and whatever other children come into our family’s lives, we’re going to have a family. Because you and I? We’re already a family right now. Okay?”

“Okay.” Wrapping her arms around Estela, Taylor relaxed into her wife’s embrace. “You know... I wasn’t joking about wanting a bubble bath. Do you think we could make that happen?”

Estela nuzzled the tender spot beneath Taylor’s ear. “The way Michelle stocks toiletries, our only problem will be deciding among a dozen different scents. Think you’re up to it?”

“Let’s find out.”

* * *

Early the next morning, Taylor slipped out of Estela’s arms, dressed quickly, and tiptoed out of the bedroom. There wasn’t much in the way of nonperishable food stashed away in the lodge’s kitchen, but between what she and Estela had brought with them and the plants and fruit trees the Vaanti had started to cultivate around the building, she hoped to find enough to put together a respectable breakfast to bring up to her wife.

Stopping only long enough to grab a basket from what used to be the reception desk, she left the front door open as she headed outside. She still couldn’t keep the names of the native plants straight in her head, but Varyyn had assured them that everything around the building was safe to eat. She headed for a row of bushes thickly covered in shining pink berries. She popped one in her mouth; it burst as she bit into it, tasting almost like roses. “Oh, this will _definitely_ make oatmeal more interesting,” she murmured happily. Once she’d gathered a few handfuls, she walked over to a small grove of trees. She’d had their fruit before; in spite of looking like bright green peaches, they tasted like a mixture of rosemary and citrus. Taylor reached as high as she could, but the closest fruit was just out of her reach. She looked around, hoping against hope that there was a ladder nearby... of course not.

_Well, I’ll just have to grab a chair from inside,_ she thought. She turned to head back to the lodge… and she froze as something rustled in the jungle leaves, not nearly far enough away for her peace of mind. Without looking around, she set her basket down carefully. “Please be a bunny. I can probably handle a huge bunny,” she breathed, “but not a wild boar. No giant pigs, okay, universe?” She took a cautious look over her shoulder, and she almost stumbled in shock at what she saw. “Oh my God. _Furball_? Is that you, little guy?” Stunned, she took a few steps away from the garden.

Coming all the way out of the jungle, Furball galloped over to her. “You’re… not so little now,” she said breathlessly as the ice fox skidded to a halt in front of her. Reaching up, she carefully rested a hand on his massive blue shoulder. “They told me you were growing, but….” She laughed and staggered back as Furball joyously nudged her with his snout. “Easy there, dude. You might be the size of a horse now but I’m still the same size!”

“Mrrrrmph!” Dropping to the ground, Furball flopped over on his side and looked up at Taylor eagerly.

Sinking down beside him, Taylor buried her face in his chilly blue fur and wrapped her arms around his neck. “It’s so good to see you, Furball,” she said, choking back tears. “They tell me that you’re a Guardian now, so… congrats on the promotion.” Furball whuffed in reply, sounding pleased. Ruffling the white patch of fur on top of his head, Taylor laughed. “I bet it’s a big job, taking care of all these mountains. I guess you’re responsible for the snow that the Vaanti see sometimes?” The giant fox blinked his purple eyes slowly and his mouth dropped open in what could only be called a grin. “Well, you’re doing great, buddy. It’s so –”

“Taylor? Are you out here?” Estela’s voice came from around the corner of the building.

Taylor opened her mouth to answer, but then stopped herself. Leaning toward Furball, she whispered, “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” The fox blinked again, then stood up and drew a deep breath. Getting to her feet as well, Taylor raised her voice. “I’m right over here, babe. I found something really cool – wanna see?”

Estela’s footsteps got closer. “Why not? But aren’t you up and around kind of – what the _hell?_ ” Estela rounded the corner; her eyes widened as she saw the enormous ice fox but before she could do anything more than stare, she disappeared in a blinding whirl of snow. “ _Furball?_ ” she gasped, blinking as the snow settled. “That can’t be – hey!” Estela sputtered as a snowball smacked her in the face.

“Oh, but it is.” Taylor bent over to scoop up another handful of snow. “Bet this is the last thing you –” She shrieked in laughter when Estela tackled her around the waist, taking both of them to the ground. “Goood morning,” she crooned as she wrapped her arms around Estela’s neck. “I bet a snowball fight wasn’t on the agenda for today.”

“No, it wasn’t.” Estela tenderly brushed snow out of Taylor’s face as Furball danced around them, unleashing gust after gust of swirling flakes. “But… La Huerta is always going to have its own magic, isn’t it?” She shivered when Taylor cupped her face. “Your hands are freezing!”

“Mmm-hmm.” Taylor smiled up at her lazily. “Warm me up?”

Pressing closer, Estela murmured, “What, in front of the fox?” She laughed as Furball nuzzled the back of her neck before sauntering away. “Tactful, isn’t he?”

“Come back later, Furball – we’ll catch up after lunch,” Taylor called. With a flick of his tail, the fox disappeared into the jungle. “Now. Where was I?”

“In the arms of a woman who loves you more than anything,” Estela whispered as she rolled Taylor out of the snowbank and onto a patch of warm, soft grass. “You’re right where you belong.”

_And I don’t have to take no trip to outer space_

_All I have to do is look at your face_

_And before I know it, I’m in orbit around you_

_Thanking my lucky stars that I’ve found you_

_When I see your constellation, honey,_

_You’re my inspiration, and it’s you_

_Tom Waits, “Little Trip to Heaven (on the wings of your love)”_


End file.
